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Comment on the following statement - logic

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Last updated about 5 years ago
2 questions
1
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Question 2
2.

Why will the student NOT score maximum points for the content and organisation?

Question 1
1.

Comment on the following statement.

When people reach the age of 18 and finish school they should move away from home and start their own life.

What is your opinion? Write 200-250 words.

Use the following plan:
• make an introduction (state the problem)
• express your personal opinion and give 2-3 reasons for your opinion
• express an opposing opinion and give 1 - 2 reasons for this opposing opinion
• explain why you don't agree with the opposing opinion
• draw a conclusion restating your position

Read the sample essay and complete it with the following words:
Nowadays a lot of young people move away from home in their late teens, (1) _____________________but the process has both its rewards and challenges.
In my opinion, (2) _____________________ moving away from home. First of all, it gives you real freedom, and it is much easier to have a proper personal relationship. (3) _______________________, the freedom affects all sorts of small things, and it means you can watch whatever you like on TV, (4 ) _______________ . Finally, you can share a flat with mates your own age, who have the same interests, (5) _____________________.
(6) __________________________, moving away from home has some drawbacks as well. (7) _______________________ , you can miss the warmth and support of your family, and you can end up feeling quite lonely and homesick. (8) _______________________, you can also have money problems because you have to pay for rent, food and so on, (9) _________________. Lastly, you have to do a lot more domestic work - you have to cook for yourself, do your laundry and ironing and keep the place clean.
(10)_____________________________________________ . Nowadays it is not a problem to be in contact with your family when you move away as you can make a call or contact your family via the Internet. Secondly, if you are short of money, your parents can transfer it on your credit card. Finally, taking care of oneself is only beneficial for a person, (11)________________________ .
So all in all, moving away from home is probably a good thing, (12) ___________________ . But it can be made a bit easier with a little support from your family, and it can help a great deal if you stay in touch with them after you leave.

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On the other hand,
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and anyway it is something that everyone has to do at some stage
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which is an important part of growing up
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Personally, I can't fully agree with these opinions
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On top of that,
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and that can make life a lot more fun.
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you can go to bed when you want and so on
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Firstly, when you move away
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There can certainly be some real advantages to
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As well as that,
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as one learns certain life skills.
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and it means that your standard of living can fall sharply