Joe got up to start his day. He went downstairs to make breakfast for his wife and two kids. He fed his kids cereal and made his wife eggs with arsenic in it. Joe left for work. His wife dropped dead.
Joe decided that he was going to rob a bank and texted his friend Jim. While he was texting, Joe hit a five-year-old walking to school, killing her. Joe drove off and nobody got his license plate.
Joe picked up Jim and they went to the hardware store to get a drill to crack the safe at the bank. Joe didn't want to pay for the drill and also wanted more money so he pointed a gun at the clerk as they left and said "this one's gets the five-finger discount". The clerk said nothing, and Jim and Joe left. Moments later the clerk had a heart attack and died.
Joe and Jim got to the bank and Jim started having second thoughts. Jim started pushing Joe. Joe pushed back. They got into a fight in front of the bank. Jim body slammed Joe and Joe pulled out his gun and shot Jim, killing him.
Joe was pissed off that Jim refused to rob the bank, so he got back in his car and started shooting random people on the sidewalk, killing six people.
Joe drove to Colombia and was elected President.