Editing and Mechanics: Grade 11 (2024)

NO CHANGE

Morning came slowly this late in the year,

Morning, came slowly, this late, in the year,

Morning came, slowly, this late in the year

It describes lightning striking the trees.

It warns the reader of a potential fire hazard.

It provides vivid imagery of the morning sunlight.

It offers a contrasting tone to the quiet of the morning.

NO CHANGE

Watching the gradual dawn, the sun traveled down the trees slowly after touching the treetops, as Isla watched.

Watching the gradual dawn, the sun touched the treetops, as Isla watched, before traveling down them slowly.

Watching the gradual dawn, Isla saw the sun touch the treetops first, then travel down them slowly.

NO CHANGE

when she looked away and then looked back, the daylight had spread.

there was more daylight after she looked the other way and looked back.

she looked away and looked back, and when she did she found that the daylight had spread.

NO CHANGE

a new job maybe a move, to a new city and, the beginning of, a new life

a new job, maybe a move to a new city, and the beginning of a new life

a new job, maybe a move, to a new city, and the beginning, of a new life

jaws

pantries

stomachs

trees

NO CHANGE

illuminating

illumninating

iluminatting

NO CHANGE

appreciating the sun while she could

soaking up the rays, before life got in the way

savoring this brief moment before everything changed