Translated by Edith Calzolari
1 There was once a school without a single living student; the principal got his pupils from a robot factory instead. He boasted that these little robots were quite perfect, technically, and he never missed an opportunity to show how easy it was to make them work. Simply by pressing a row of buttons on their shoulders, beneath their sweaters, one could make them do exactly what was needed. In short, they could be programmed to behave in a certain way and were absolutely guaranteed to work.
2 There was even a metal plate on each one, next to the buttons, which said: Manufactured in accordance with existing laws.
3 You can understand why, in a school devoted to perfect order and regularity, these little programmed robots would be far more convenient than real students. One teacher was enough for everybody. Each morning, all that had to be done was to press the right buttons, and the rest would follow automatically.
4 So these little robots were indeed marvels of mechanical and electronic efficiency, and everyone who saw them working was stunned by their performance.
5 At 8:25, at the sound of the first bell, they would enter the classroom. At 8:30, at the sound of the second bell, they would begin to write down their arithmetic problems or start their compositions. At 9:30, they would all hand in their papers.
6 At 9:35, they would all recite history in exactly the same way: “At the gallows, Nathan Hale said, ‘I only regret that I have but one life to lose for my country.’”
7 At 10:15, they took their lunch trays and they ate. At 10:20, they went to the bathroom. At 10:25, they sat down in their seats again.
8 At 10:30, they all repeated the same rule of grammar together: “The names of persons form the plural in the usual way, by adding s or es, as in the examples—four Toms and two Jameses.”
9 At 11:15, they did arithmetic. At 12:00, they recited geography from the textbook: “Florida is a state known for sun, flowers, and beautiful beaches.”
10 At 12:45, they packed up their schoolbags. At 12:50, they said good-bye to the teacher and left.
11 The following day, the program repeated what had been studied previously. Of course, it was possible to switch subjects around somewhat to take arithmetic before history, or, in place of one rule of grammar, to take another. But these were small changes that didn’t really matter, so nothing ever really happened to disrupt the regularity
of the lessons. The robots always behaved just as the teacher had programmed them. Indeed, the principal was so content with this state of affairs that he not only praised the teacher highly, but even gave her a promotion.
12 Now, one morning, a new robot came to school, looking exactly like all the rest. However, at 8:30, at the sound of the second bell, when it was time for them all to be seated, the newcomer dawdled a bit, just enough to surprise and alarm the teacher, who from that moment on kept a sharp eye on it.
13 But there was an even greater surprise at 9:35, during the history lesson. The new robot recited: “At the gallows, Nathan Hale said, ‘Hats off!’”
14 The teacher was so dumbfounded that she went to examine the robot’s buttons at once, to see whether she might have pressed them incorrectly. Indeed not. All the buttons were in place. The teacher couldn’t imagine such a disrespectful version of history being recited in school. She went back to her desk, full of anxiety, hoping that the principal would not find out.
15 At 10:15, when the other robots took their lunches from their schoolbags, the newcomer got up and went to the bathroom. When the others went to the bathroom, it began to eat lunch.
16 Perhaps a button is stuck, thought the teacher, as she went to take another look. No! Even the buttons for recess were in place. Why was it that this one robot, just the same as all the others, didn’t behave in the same way?
17 At 10:30, when they all repeated the rule for forming the plural of names, the new robot said: “If I followed the rule and added es, would I say ‘My two Aunt Besseses?’”
18 Then the teacher telephoned frantically to the factory to send a repairman at once. She was even willing to pay from her own pocket.
19 When the repairman arrived, he checked all the buttons, and since they were in order, he couldn’t find anything to do except to tighten some screws and say, “Everything is fine.” The teacher, greatly relieved, beamed with pleasure.
20 But at 11:15, when all the others were reciting their numbers in perfect sequence, the newcomer counted: “Seven, five, three, four, ten . . .”
21 In despair, the teacher said, “Don’t you see how it is mixing them up? Do something, quickly!”
22 “There must be a bad connection somewhere,” said the repairman, pulling an oil can from his bag. “Now you’ll see that everything will be all right.”
23 But at 12:00, when the others were reciting geography, exactly in the way they were supposed to do, the new robot began to ask questions instead. “Why is it that in Florida the sun is gray? Why are the flowers there black? Why is the beach made of asphalt? Why—” And who knows what else it might have asked if the teacher hadn’t clapped her hands over its mouth at this moment to stop it.
24 Nevertheless, the principal heard all the commotion and came running. The teacher, unfortunately, then had to explain.
25 The principal turned to the repairman and said, “Isn’t there some way to find out why this one doesn’t work like the others?”
26 “There must be something inside that doesn’t work,” he replied. “I’d have to take it apart and look inside. Perhaps something’s worn-out.”
27 “There must be something worn-out. Take it apart and fix it at once,” said the principal.
28 So the repairman quickly took his screwdriver and began to loosen all the little screws on the outside. When he had unfastened everything and was able to take off the cover, he just stood there, with his eyes wide open. There, inside, instead of the spools of magnetic tape that the other robots had, was a live little boy, and he was just looking at them and laughing.