Station #6 Editing and Revising

1

(1) When it comes to science and discovery, Maya Torres may be one of the most curious teens you’ll ever meet. (2) She’s always reading about planets and distant galaxies. (3) In fact, she dreams of becoming an astronaut one day. (4) Maya’s fascination began when she saw a rocket launch on TV with her dad, who was a pilot.
Which revision of sentence 4 provides the most clarity and style?

Maya first got interested when she saw a rocket launch on TV with her dad, who flew planes.

Maya’s fascination started when she and her pilot father watched a rocket launch on television.

Maya’s fascination started when she saw on TV with her dad who was a pilot a rocket launch.

When she saw a rocket launch on TV with her dad who was a pilot, Maya became interested in space.

1

(23) I miss walking the quiet trails and hearing the birds sing in the mornings. (24) Life in the city, however, has good things too. (25) I can visit new restaurants, see concerts, and meet people from all over the world. (26) Though I thought city life would be dull, it’s actually exciting.
Which revision of sentence 24 uses more precise word choice and variety?

City life, however, offers exciting opportunities.

City life is different, though, in many ways.

The city, however, has some cool things too.

However, city life is good in its own way.

1

The group of volunteers were excited to begin the beach cleanup.
What correction is needed?

Change were to was

Change cleanup to clean up

Change excited to exciting

Change begin to began

1

(1) The dance performance amazed the audience. (2) The costumes were colorful and the music was lively. (3) The dancers practiced every day.
Which transition best connects sentence 3 to the previous ideas?

For instance,

However,

As a result,

Meanwhile,

1

After dinner, we watched a movie and ate popcorn.
Which sentence is punctuated correctly?

After dinner we watched a movie, and ate popcorn.

After dinner, we watched a movie and ate popcorn.

After dinner we watched a movie and, ate popcorn.

After dinner, we watched a movie, and ate popcorn.

1

The new science exhibit was really good.
Which revision strengthens word choice?

The new science exhibit was highly interesting.

The new science exhibit was super good.

The new science exhibit was kind of fun.

The new science exhibit was really cool.

1

Last summer, I visited the grand Canyon with my cousins.
Which correction should be made?

Change grand Canyon to Grand Canyon

Change Last summer to last Summer

Change cousins to Cousins

Change I to me

1

The main reason that people should recycle is because it helps the environment in many ways.
Which revision is most concise?

People should recycle because it helps the environment.

Recycling is something that people should do.

Recycling helps the environment in lots of ways.

The reason to recycle is that it helps the environment in many different ways.

1

I wanted to bake cookies but I ran out of sugar.
Which sentence is punctuated correctly?

I wanted to bake cookies but, I ran out of sugar.

I wanted to bake cookies, but I ran out of sugar.

I wanted to bake cookies but I, ran out of sugar.

No change

1

(1) The rain poured down. (2) The thunder roared. (3) The lightning flashed.
Which revision combines the sentences effectively?

The rain poured down, thunder roared, and lightning flashed.

The rain poured down and thunder roared and lightning flashed.

The rain poured down the thunder roared the lightning flashed.

The rain poured down, and the thunder roared. Lightning flashed.

1

The childrens’ museum opened its’ new exhibit.
Which revision uses apostrophes correctly?

The childrens museum opened it’s new exhibit.

The children’s museum opened its new exhibit.

The children’s museum opened it’s new exhibit.

The childrens museum opened its new exhibit.

1

Before leaving we checked the weather report.
Which sentence is correct?

Before leaving we, checked the weather report.

Before leaving, we checked the weather report.

Before leaving we checked, the weather report.

Before, leaving we checked the weather report.

1

Yesterday, we go to the park and played basketball.
Which correction is needed?

Change go to went

Change played to play

Change Yesterday to Today

Change we to us

1

(1) Our class spent weeks studying marine life. (2) We finally got to visit the aquarium.

For example,

As a result,

However,

After all,

1

Every student should bring their notebook to class.
Which correction maintains agreement?

Change their to his or her

Change student to students

Change their to its

Change notebook to notebooks

1

Because the movie was long, it ended late, and we were tired, so we left before the credits were over.
Which revision best improves clarity?

We left before the credits because the movie was long and we were tired.

The movie was long, and we were tired; we left before it ended.

Since we were tired, we left before the movie’s credits were over.

The movie was long and we were tired and we left before it ended.

1

The principle gave a speech about kindness.
Which correction should be made?

Change gave to given

Change kindness to kindnes

Change speech to speach

Change principle to principal

1

(1) The students designed posters to encourage recycling. (2) They worked on them all afternoon. (3) They displayed them in the hallway.
Which revision best combines sentences 2 and 3 to create sentence variety?

They worked on the posters all afternoon, and they displayed them in the hallway.

Working on them all afternoon, the students displayed the posters in the hallway.

The posters were worked on all afternoon by the students and displayed in the hallway.

They worked on them and displayed them all afternoon in the hallway.

1

For breakfast, I had eggs toast orange juice and pancakes.
Which revision of the sentence is correctly punctuated?

For breakfast, I had eggs, toast, orange juice, and pancakes.

For breakfast I had, eggs toast orange juice and pancakes.

For breakfast I had eggs, toast orange juice, and pancakes.

For breakfast, I had eggs toast, orange juice and, pancakes.

1

(1) The robotics club practiced every week for months. (2) When the regional competition arrived, they were ready. (3) The team did a good job and felt proud.
Which revision best improves se ntence 3 by using stronger word choice?

The team did a great job and was very happy.

The team performed skillfully and felt proud of their success.

The team worked well and had a lot of fun.

The team was good and proud.

Station #6 Editing and Revising

The group of volunteers were excited to begin the beach cleanup.What correction is needed?

(1) The dance performance amazed the audience. (2) The costumes were colorful and the music was lively. (3) The dancers practiced every day.Which transition best connects sentence 3 to the previous ideas?

After dinner, we watched a movie and ate popcorn.Which sentence is punctuated correctly?

The new science exhibit was really good.Which revision strengthens word choice?

Last summer, I visited the grand Canyon with my cousins.Which correction should be made?

The main reason that people should recycle is because it helps the environment in many ways.Which revision is most concise?

I wanted to bake cookies but I ran out of sugar.Which sentence is punctuated correctly?

(1) The rain poured down. (2) The thunder roared. (3) The lightning flashed.Which revision combines the sentences effectively?

The childrens’ museum opened its’ new exhibit.Which revision uses apostrophes correctly?

Before leaving we checked the weather report.Which sentence is correct?

Yesterday, we go to the park and played basketball.Which correction is needed?

(1) Our class spent weeks studying marine life. (2) We finally got to visit the aquarium.

Every student should bring their notebook to class.Which correction maintains agreement?

Because the movie was long, it ended late, and we were tired, so we left before the credits were over.Which revision best improves clarity?

The principle gave a speech about kindness.Which correction should be made?

(1) The students designed posters to encourage recycling. (2) They worked on them all afternoon. (3) They displayed them in the hallway.Which revision best combines sentences 2 and 3 to create sentence variety?

For breakfast, I had eggs toast orange juice and pancakes.Which revision of the sentence is correctly punctuated?

(1) The robotics club practiced every week for months. (2) When the regional competition arrived, they were ready. (3) The team did a good job and felt proud.Which revision best improves se ntence 3 by using stronger word choice?

The group of volunteers were excited to begin the beach cleanup.What correction is needed?

(1) The dance performance amazed the audience. (2) The costumes were colorful and the music was lively. (3) The dancers practiced every day.Which transition best connects sentence 3 to the previous ideas?

After dinner, we watched a movie and ate popcorn.Which sentence is punctuated correctly?

The new science exhibit was really good.Which revision strengthens word choice?

Last summer, I visited the grand Canyon with my cousins.Which correction should be made?

The main reason that people should recycle is because it helps the environment in many ways.Which revision is most concise?

I wanted to bake cookies but I ran out of sugar.Which sentence is punctuated correctly?

(1) The rain poured down. (2) The thunder roared. (3) The lightning flashed.Which revision combines the sentences effectively?

The childrens’ museum opened its’ new exhibit.Which revision uses apostrophes correctly?

Before leaving we checked the weather report.Which sentence is correct?

Yesterday, we go to the park and played basketball.Which correction is needed?

(1) Our class spent weeks studying marine life. (2) We finally got to visit the aquarium.

Every student should bring their notebook to class.Which correction maintains agreement?

Because the movie was long, it ended late, and we were tired, so we left before the credits were over.Which revision best improves clarity?

The principle gave a speech about kindness.Which correction should be made?

(1) The students designed posters to encourage recycling. (2) They worked on them all afternoon. (3) They displayed them in the hallway.Which revision best combines sentences 2 and 3 to create sentence variety?

For breakfast, I had eggs toast orange juice and pancakes.Which revision of the sentence is correctly punctuated?

(1) The robotics club practiced every week for months. (2) When the regional competition arrived, they were ready. (3) The team did a good job and felt proud.Which revision best improves se ntence 3 by using stronger word choice?

The group of volunteers were excited to begin the beach cleanup.
What correction is needed?

(1) The dance performance amazed the audience. (2) The costumes were colorful and the music was lively. (3) The dancers practiced every day.
Which transition best connects sentence 3 to the previous ideas?

After dinner, we watched a movie and ate popcorn.
Which sentence is punctuated correctly?

The new science exhibit was really good.
Which revision strengthens word choice?

Last summer, I visited the grand Canyon with my cousins.
Which correction should be made?

The main reason that people should recycle is because it helps the environment in many ways.
Which revision is most concise?

I wanted to bake cookies but I ran out of sugar.
Which sentence is punctuated correctly?

(1) The rain poured down. (2) The thunder roared. (3) The lightning flashed.
Which revision combines the sentences effectively?

The childrens’ museum opened its’ new exhibit.
Which revision uses apostrophes correctly?

Before leaving we checked the weather report.
Which sentence is correct?

Yesterday, we go to the park and played basketball.
Which correction is needed?

Every student should bring their notebook to class.
Which correction maintains agreement?

Because the movie was long, it ended late, and we were tired, so we left before the credits were over.
Which revision best improves clarity?

The principle gave a speech about kindness.
Which correction should be made?

(1) The students designed posters to encourage recycling. (2) They worked on them all afternoon. (3) They displayed them in the hallway.
Which revision best combines sentences 2 and 3 to create sentence variety?

For breakfast, I had eggs toast orange juice and pancakes.
Which revision of the sentence is correctly punctuated?

(1) The robotics club practiced every week for months. (2) When the regional competition arrived, they were ready. (3) The team did a good job and felt proud.
Which revision best improves se ntence 3 by using stronger word choice?

The group of volunteers were excited to begin the beach cleanup.
What correction is needed?

(1) The dance performance amazed the audience. (2) The costumes were colorful and the music was lively. (3) The dancers practiced every day.
Which transition best connects sentence 3 to the previous ideas?

After dinner, we watched a movie and ate popcorn.
Which sentence is punctuated correctly?

The new science exhibit was really good.
Which revision strengthens word choice?

Last summer, I visited the grand Canyon with my cousins.
Which correction should be made?

The main reason that people should recycle is because it helps the environment in many ways.
Which revision is most concise?

I wanted to bake cookies but I ran out of sugar.
Which sentence is punctuated correctly?

(1) The rain poured down. (2) The thunder roared. (3) The lightning flashed.
Which revision combines the sentences effectively?

The childrens’ museum opened its’ new exhibit.
Which revision uses apostrophes correctly?

Before leaving we checked the weather report.
Which sentence is correct?

Yesterday, we go to the park and played basketball.
Which correction is needed?

Every student should bring their notebook to class.
Which correction maintains agreement?

Because the movie was long, it ended late, and we were tired, so we left before the credits were over.
Which revision best improves clarity?

The principle gave a speech about kindness.
Which correction should be made?

(1) The students designed posters to encourage recycling. (2) They worked on them all afternoon. (3) They displayed them in the hallway.
Which revision best combines sentences 2 and 3 to create sentence variety?

For breakfast, I had eggs toast orange juice and pancakes.
Which revision of the sentence is correctly punctuated?

(1) The robotics club practiced every week for months. (2) When the regional competition arrived, they were ready. (3) The team did a good job and felt proud.
Which revision best improves se ntence 3 by using stronger word choice?