A student is writing a story for class about a hero's journey. Read the draft and complete the task that follows.

Discovered!

William was an unlikely hero. His hair was always falling in his face, and he had a bad habit of leaving it over one eye or the other, making him seem uninterested in anything. This was not the case, however. William believed himself to be an explorer. He spent most of his free time in the woods behind his house.

One day, his curiosity led him to an unexpected discovery. As he walked along the stream that ran along the south side of the property, he found himself feeling bored and almost turned back. What he found around the bend made him glad he had continued on. There was a dark, narrow hole. William's find eventually became known as Diamond Cave.

English glossary :

unlikely : not suited for a purpose

curiosity : desire to learn more

varmints : animals that are considered problems

dangling : hanging loosely

A student is writing a story for her class's creative writing contest. Read the draft and complete the task that follows.

Just a Dog Named Buck

One evening during a late harvest moon, a young man found himself idly rocking by the embers of a dying fire. The chirps of crickets singing goodnight lulled him into a peaceful ease, and the call of a bird roosting for the evening seemed to say, "Sweet dreams." Unexpectedly, the man sighed deeply. It was only recently that he realized he needed more companionship. "Well," he thought sleepily, "such are the imaginings of a carefree man. It's nearing harvest, and I do not have the luxury to occupy my time with such thoughts."

Immediately, he stopped and strained to hear the sound once more. In the distance, he heard a rustling and knew it was coming from the crest of the riverbank. Quickly he clambered up the side of the bank and there, under an oak tree, he found a pup. Able to walk but unsteady on its wobbly legs, the pup whined, looking left, right, and left again. Crouching down, the man let out a sharp whistle and called, "Here pup!" The pup turned its head too enthusiastically, and its rickety legs gave out from underneath! The pup regained its footing, and the man and pup finally reached one another, one grinning from ear to ear while the other lapped the grinning face.

English glossary:

harvest moon: the full moon in autumn

embers: glowing pieces of wood from a fire

lulled: caused someone to feel sleepy

clambered : crawled or climbed in an awkward way

rickety : not strong or stable

#4 - 60929

A student is writing a narrative for the teacher about an adventure. The student wants to revise the draft to include an introduction that provides a beginning that introduces the main character. Read the draft of the narrative and complete the task that follows.

The Statue

For a hundred years she had stood in the little park in the center of the city. For a hundred years she had watched the activity in the park, observing the people, and looking at the birds that flew about and sometimes nested there. Most people would stroll by without noticing the figure in the shady little garden, only contemplating the sweet-scented rosebushes or the large marble fountain, but occasionally someone would stop and cast a thoughtful look up at her. Once or twice, someone had lingered, enchanted by her simple beauty. Then one day, in the spring of her hundredth year, a little boy entered the beautiful park and began to walk toward her.

English glossary :

observing : watching

nested : built a shelter

contemplating : thinking deeply about something

pedestal : the base of a statue

majestic : large and beautiful

A student is writing a news article for class about the British royal family. Read the draft of the article and complete the task.

Click on the sentence that should be deleted because it does not support the main idea of the paragraph.

Tradition was upheld in England this July with the birth of the newest member of the British royal family. On July 22, 2013, at 2:43 p.m., Prince William and his wife, Kate, welcomed their first child. Their son is third in line to inherit the throne and become the king of England. The child is behind Prince Charles and Prince William who are, by tradition, the next in line to become king. Thousands lined the streets around Buckingham Palace awaiting news of the birth, as the British have done throughout history. The happy event was announced when an aide placed a notice on an easel outside of the palace—another tradition for the royal family. This baby has brought technology into royal life, as for the first time the birth was also announced on Twitter.

The baby’s name was not announced immediately, but this is not unusual. In history, the royals have sometimes waited weeks to announce a royal baby’s name. This time it only took two days for the royal family to announce their son as George Alexander Louis. Officially the baby will be known as His Royal Highness Prince George of Cambridge, and this name also fits tradition. There have been six kings named George in Britain’s history.

This may be a new baby, but century-long traditions are not new to the English.

A student is writing a non-fiction feature article for a blog about the first moon landing. The student wants to revise the draft to add a conclusion. Read the draft of the article and complete the task that follows.

The Apollo 11 spacecraft lifted off from the Kennedy Space Center in Florida on July 16, 1969. This historic trip fulfilled President John F. Kennedy’s dream. He said in 1961, "This nation should commit itself to achieving the goal, before the decade is out, of landing a man on the moon and returning him safely to the earth." After much training, the crew of Apollo 11 was heading for the moon! On board the spaceship were Neil Armstrong, Michael Collins, and Buzz Aldrin. Four days later on July 20, 1969, they proudly landed on the moon in the Sea of Tranquility. The next day, July 21, 1969, at exactly 10:56 Eastern Daylight Time, the moonwalk took place. Commander Neil Armstrong emerged from the spacecraft and took his famous first step onto the moon’s surface and declared those unforgettable words, “That’s one small step for (a) man, one giant leap for mankind.”

English glossary :

spaceship : a vehicle that travels in outer space

moonwalk : exploring the moon by foot

magnificent : very impressive

A student is writing a report for class about magnet schools. Read the draft of the report and complete the task that follows.

Magnet schools are free public schools organized around a central theme. The theme is integrated into most aspects of the school's curriculum. This design is intended to spark student enthusiasm and motivation to study an interesting subject in depth. Magnet schools typically attract a diverse student body and experience increased attendance rates and increased parent satisfaction ratings. Critics of magnet schools state that magnet schools hurt neighborhood schools by taking away their brightest students. Furthermore, the selection process for magnet schools sometimes keeps students out who would benefit from the experience. Ultimately, it is up to individual families to decide if magnet schools are right for their children.

F. Magnet schools typically attract a diverse student body and experience increased attendance rates and increased parent satisfaction ratings. Either way, critics of magnet schools state that magnet schools hurt neighborhood schools by taking away their brightest students.

English glossary:

integrated: made part of

spark: start, encourage

satisfaction: happiness

diverse: varied

brightest: smartest

#9 - 60466

A student is writing an argumentative essay for his principal about adding the school newspaper as a new class to the school schedule. The student wants to revise the draft to acknowledge the opposing viewpoint without weakening the argument. Read the draft of the essay and complete the task that follows.

As you can see, this class would be a valuable addition to our school schedule and should be offered as a class. Sufficient time would be required to produce a school newspaper, so a full class period would be necessary. Students who are interested in journalism will benefit from this class and our English teacher is qualified to teach the class. Creating a class called School Newspaper would increase our school’s success. We must have a school newspaper class.

Select the sentence that would best acknowledge the opposing viewpoint without weakening the writer’s argument.

A student is writing an argumentative essay for his language arts teacher about required bedtime for middle school students. The student wants to revise the draft to remove sentences that do not support his argument. Read the draft of the essay and complete the task that follows.

Bedtimes for Middle School Students

Some people believe that middle school students need bedtimes to ensure that they receive enough sleep. Studies show that American teens lack sleep. They do not get enough sleep for many reasons, including staying up late and participating in too many after-school activities. Clearly, younger children need adults to impose bedtimes on them because they do not know when they are tired. Otherwise, they might not be able to help with chores around the house. But middle school students are old enough to know when they are tired. Imposing a bedtime may actually prevent them from sleeping. They might have a hard time falling asleep because they are not actually tired at bedtime.

More importantly, imposing a bedtime takes away a chance for middle school students to make good decisions about their own health. If adults give them the benefit of the doubt, many students will probably figure out for themselves how much sleep they need. Learning through experience has great value. At some point, young children learn to realize when they are tired. Similarly, students who go through a school day exhausted learn that sleep can make their days more pleasant. If their days are more pleasant, middle school students are more likely to be friendly to other people.

Click on two sentences that are not relevant to the student’s argument and so should be deleted.

Otherwise, they might not be able to help with chores around the house.

They might have a hard time falling asleep because they are not actually tired at bedtime.

More importantly, imposing a bedtime takes away a chance for middle school students to make good decisions about their own health.

If adults give them the benefit of the doubt, many students will probably figure out for themselves how much sleep they need.

Similarly, students who go through a school day exhausted learn that sleep can make their days more pleasant.

If their days are more pleasant, middle school students are more likely to be friendly to other people.

English glossary :

ensure : make certain

participating : being involved with

give them the benefit of the doubt :
judge them positively instead of negatively

A student is writing an argumentative essay for his teacher about students being allowed more hall passes in school. The student wants to revise the draft to be clearer in his argument. Read the draft of the essay and complete the task that follows.

Hall Passes Needed

Some students ask to leave class to get a drink of water every day. It may appear to teachers that those students may just want an excuse to get a break from the lesson. However, often times students are forced to sit for too long in several classes throughout the day. This causes many students to become anxious, and they may need to get up and stretch their legs or get a drink of water.

Other times, a student may need a brain break. Studies show that drinking water will give the brain a fresh jolt and allow students to concentrate better. Students might not have enough time to get a drink of water between classes and may have to resort to using a hall pass and leave during a teacher’s lesson.

I understand that some people feel that students have so much to learn. If a student leaves too often, he or she will miss too much instruction and get behind in their work. It is difficult for many students to catch up on missed work if they are absent from class too often.

Revise the student’s paragraphs about hall passes in school. Choose the paragraph that would make the best introduction to establish and introduce the claim.

A. There may be a concern that students will abuse their freedom by using too many hall passes. There are the few students who may try to take advantage of this freedom, but the majority will not.

B. From the student's perspective, of course, it's a health issue when it comes to getting a drink of water. Most teachers do not prevent students from getting a drink of water.

C. Some students need to drink water more than others. They should ask their teacher for a pass and be able to go whenever they need to. They shouldn’t be restricted on when they can go get a drink, even if teachers feel like they should be in class so they do not miss a lesson.

D. In many schools, teachers allow only a certain number of hall passes for the year. This is to prevent students from leaving class too often and getting behind on their lessons. However, students legitimately need to get a drink of water or even stretch their legs

if they have been sitting too long. Students should be allowed enough hall passes to give them the breaks they need in order to get refreshed from sitting too long or from going too long without a drink of water.

English glossary:

jolt: shock

resort to: do because no other choice is possible

restricted: not allowed

legitimately: really

A student is writing an argumentative essay for a student newspaper about zoos doing more harm than good. The student wants to revise the draft to improve transitions between claims. Read the draft of the essay and complete the task that follows.

Are Zoos Good?

If you live close to a zoo, then for you it is probably still “The Zoo”. It may still have affectionate memories for you, memories of strange exotic creatures and curious smells—a place full of beasts with a power to fascinate, intimidate, or amuse. But perhaps your memories of the zoo are not so pleasant. Perhaps your last impression of the zoo was not of an astonishing place full of playful monkeys and towering giraffes, but of the sad and listless eyes of a poor wild animal imprisoned in a hopelessly unsuitable cage. There are strong arguments for those that believe zoos should not exist and for those that believe they are a good place to bring kids to.

Today’s zoos are sanctuaries for rare and endangered animals. Many believe zoos educate our children, teaching us all to love and appreciate the wildlife of our planet, and that they are centers of academic research. Many good zoos believe that every animal has its own particular environmental, behavioral, and emotional demands, and they design their enclosures accordingly.

Zoos should not exist because oftentimes there are too many news stories that animals are being mistreated or malnourished. Zoos can give visitors the wrong impression about animals because caged animals act differently than they would in the wild. Animals in captivity are tamer than they are in the wild because they get used to people staring at them all day.

English glossary :

exotic : describing animals from another part of the world

intimidate : make someone afraid

listless : lacking energy or spirit

sanctuaries : protected shelters, safe havens

moral : concerning right and wrong

A student is writing a narrative for the class about standing in line and waiting for a store to open. The student wants to revise the draft to include details about the setting. Read the draft of the narrative and answer the question that follows.

Waiting

I shifted from the uncomfortable position that I was standing in. I had been waiting for three hours. “Would this be worth the wait?” I wondered. The line was growing even as the minutes ticked down. The air was biting, and the pellets of ice smacked my face. I pulled my jacket tighter and bent further down.

“Mike,” I called out. There he lay, warm and snug under a blanket he had brought. “It’s time! Get up!” The line had begun moving, almost rapidly. Mike jumped to his feet and quickly rolled up his blanket, and we began the steady move inside.

English glossary :

wondered : wanted to know something

smacked : slapped or hit

grateful : feeling of thankfulness

howled : made a long, loud sound

drizzle : light rain

A student is writing a report for class about sea monkeys. Read the draft of the report and complete the task that follows.

Sea monkeys are actually a type of shrimp called brine shrimp. They are found in salt lakes. The water is so salty in most salt lakes that only brine shrimp and the type of algae that they eat can survive there. The interesting thing about these shrimp is that they lay eggs called cysts. The eggs are special because they can dry out and still be good years later! The cysts only need to be put in salt water and they will hatch. The hatched sea monkeys can grow to be about half an inch long. Fully grown sea monkeys look very similar to immature ones, but if you examine them carefully, you can see that they are no longer babies.

English glossary :

kidneys : organs that clean blood and make urine

hemoglobin : the part of blood which carries oxygen

pincers : claws

A student is writing an editorial for the school newspaper about allowing businesses to advertise on campus. The student wants to revise the draft to remove details that do not support the claims. Read the draft of the essay and complete the task that follows.

Click on two sentences that are not relevant to the student’s arguments and should be deleted.

Advertisements on Campus

Some parents at our school say that advertisements on campus are distractions. Advertising is on television as well. These parents want students listening to their teachers and learning with their classmates. Advertisements for sportswear and food products distract students at the wrong place and time.

Other parents do not consider this a problem. They say that businesses who advertise help schools pay for facilities and programs. For example, a business might build a gymnasium for a school. If that business advertises its name inside the building, these parents say, that is only fair. Most businesses use the Internet as their main way to advertise now, though.

English glossary:

advertisements: commercials or printed messages that help sell a product

distractions: things that make it difficult to pay attention

A student is writing an argumentative essay for his teacher about a longer school year. The student wants to revise the draft to strengthen his support for a longer school year. Read part of the draft of the essay and complete the task that follows.

A Longer School Year

One advantage of a four-day school week is that students gain time to recover from the hard work of the week before. Studies show that the majority of teens do not get enough sleep. An extra day off gives students an opportunity to solve this problem. The benefits also extend into the following week. Students return to school with more energy to learn.

Although these are benefits of the four-day school week, there also may be difficulties in adopting a four-day school week. Schools might lengthen the school day. For some students, a longer school day may be a more challenging learning environment. They would have to focus in the classroom for a longer time during the day. A longer school day can also create problems for students involved in afterschool activities. They may have problems fitting their activities into the new schedule.

Instead of lengthening the school day, schools could lengthen the school year. Schools might add another month, or even longer, to the school year, resulting in shorter summer vacations. Many students and teachers may not support this. A long summer vacation is an event they have come to expect and plan for every year. However, many educators say summer vacations are too long because students forget what they learned. Some studies show that students lose math skills during the summer.

#14 - 59101

A student is writing an argumentative essay for his school newspaper about why advertising should not be allowed in schools. The student wants to revise the draft so that all details support the claim. Read the draft of the essay and complete the task that follows.

Click on the sentence that should be deleted because it does not support the claim.

Students are often faced with many choices, just as their parents are. They get to decide what type of clothing they like, what type of food they want to eat at lunch, and how much effort they’re going to put into their homework. Some of the decisions they make can be influenced by advertising. Students should not be subjected to advertising so they can make their own decisions without pressures from outside companies.

Advertising is a large, multi-million dollar business that is having an enormous impact on child development. Children are becoming more materialistic than ever before. This is because toy and clothing companies are advertising to children both through television and in the schools. It is important for advertising to be banned from schools so that the students can focus on their classes rather than what products they want. Some studies have shown that 3- to 7-year-olds desire toys that transform themselves into other creatures or animals, and 8- to 12-year-olds love to collect things. This is because advertising promotes these products. Children can read different advertisements in their classes so that they learn more about the products available to them. Overall, advertising should not be allowed in schools.

English glossary:

advertising: notices in print or media about products for sale