Evaluating Informational Body Paragraphs
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Last updated 7 months ago
6 questions
10
Pretend your friend is asking for advice on how to revise his/her paragraph.
List TWO "celebrations" for this paragraph and ONE "suggestion":
The most common object used from elephants is Ivory. “Recent research by STE revealed that an estimated 100,000 elephants were killed for their ivory in Africa between 2010
and 2012. The number of elephants remaining in Africa is uncertain, but are
likely to be in the region of 500,000.Taking into account births these losses
are driving declines in the world’s wild African elephants on the order of 2-3%
a year.” In some country’s Ivory is used in medicine. The website Poaching Facts
said that “Ivory tusks and worked ivory have been kept as ornamental trophies
and a sign of wealth for hundreds of years, but the ivory carving industry in
India is said to date back 4,000 years (Martin and Vigne, 1989).” Owning ivory
is important to some cultures because it means that you have wealth. 70% of
illegal ivory goes to China and gets sold on the streets for 1,000 dollars a
pound. It is crazy to think about how expensive and how valuable Ivory is. I
think that we should stop by for jewelry and decoration purposes. We should only
get Ivory for medicine, and try our best to use another ingredient then ivory in
our medicine.
Pretend your friend is asking for advice on how to revise his/her paragraph.
List TWO "celebrations" for this paragraph and ONE "suggestion":
The most common object used from elephants is Ivory. “Recent research by STE revealed that an estimated 100,000 elephants were killed for their ivory in Africa between 2010
and 2012. The number of elephants remaining in Africa is uncertain, but are
likely to be in the region of 500,000.Taking into account births these losses
are driving declines in the world’s wild African elephants on the order of 2-3%
a year.” In some country’s Ivory is used in medicine. The website Poaching Facts
said that “Ivory tusks and worked ivory have been kept as ornamental trophies
and a sign of wealth for hundreds of years, but the ivory carving industry in
India is said to date back 4,000 years (Martin and Vigne, 1989).” Owning ivory
is important to some cultures because it means that you have wealth. 70% of
illegal ivory goes to China and gets sold on the streets for 1,000 dollars a
pound. It is crazy to think about how expensive and how valuable Ivory is. I
think that we should stop by for jewelry and decoration purposes. We should only
get Ivory for medicine, and try our best to use another ingredient then ivory in
our medicine.
10
What is the MAIN IDEA of this paragraph? Do you think the author backed up
his/her opinion well? Why or why not?
Poaching causes many problems. One major problem is the loss of many common
animals. According to the African Wildlife Foundation, poaching has caused lions
to become extinct in seven African countries. The lion example was caused by an
outside problem: habitat loss. Lions moved closer to humans due to habitat loss
and are “killed by farmers in retaliation [to harm something because it has done
harm towards you] of preying on livestock.” Another example is mountain gorillas
have decreased down to fewer than 900 remain, as of 2012. The “recent surge of
trafficking of infant gorillas” is a big part of this. As you can see, poaching
has caused animal species to start to die out. It is estimated by World Animal
Foundation that one fifth of all animal species will be extinct by 2025. Also
said in that article, poaching for various reasons (hides/skins, traditional
medicines, food, tourist souvenirs, etc.) is a major factor in the possible
extinction of these iconic animals. In conclusion, poaching has cause
influential changes to the status of many animals.
What is the MAIN IDEA of this paragraph? Do you think the author backed up
his/her opinion well? Why or why not?
Poaching causes many problems. One major problem is the loss of many common
animals. According to the African Wildlife Foundation, poaching has caused lions
to become extinct in seven African countries. The lion example was caused by an
outside problem: habitat loss. Lions moved closer to humans due to habitat loss
and are “killed by farmers in retaliation [to harm something because it has done
harm towards you] of preying on livestock.” Another example is mountain gorillas
have decreased down to fewer than 900 remain, as of 2012. The “recent surge of
trafficking of infant gorillas” is a big part of this. As you can see, poaching
has caused animal species to start to die out. It is estimated by World Animal
Foundation that one fifth of all animal species will be extinct by 2025. Also
said in that article, poaching for various reasons (hides/skins, traditional
medicines, food, tourist souvenirs, etc.) is a major factor in the possible
extinction of these iconic animals. In conclusion, poaching has cause
influential changes to the status of many animals.
10
What is the MAIN IDEA of this paragraph? Highlight, copy, and paste which piece
of EVIDENCE (sentence) you think best supports the main idea. Then explain why
you think it supports it well.
The final main way to help with e-waste is to join or start a group for e-waste.
You can message companies to help stop e-waste in new ways you might think of or
encourage them to pay for the recycling of e-waste instead of making the
customers pay for it. You can also try to pass a new law about e-waste once you
have gathered a lot of people. According to Ted Smith, founder of the San
Francisco-based Electronics TakeBack Coalition, “...e-waste is never
particularly easy or clean even when handled properly. Taking apart some
equipment requires removing up to 50 screws.” “Industrial-scale shredders turn
circuit boards and hard drives into huge bits of glass, metal and plastics.
Those pieces have to be melted in a smelter to isolate the gold, silver, copper
and palladium.” One problem is “There are no smelters that do this in the U.S.,”
due to the environmental effects of the smelting process, Smith said. Therefore,
the shredding companies “send the metals by rail car all the way to northern
Quebec, where there is a smelter.” So you can donate money to these places so
that they can run the smelter, pay for the tools that they need to help recycle
e-waste, and to ship the materials to places like Quebec.
What is the MAIN IDEA of this paragraph? Highlight, copy, and paste which piece
of EVIDENCE (sentence) you think best supports the main idea. Then explain why
you think it supports it well.
The final main way to help with e-waste is to join or start a group for e-waste.
You can message companies to help stop e-waste in new ways you might think of or
encourage them to pay for the recycling of e-waste instead of making the
customers pay for it. You can also try to pass a new law about e-waste once you
have gathered a lot of people. According to Ted Smith, founder of the San
Francisco-based Electronics TakeBack Coalition, “...e-waste is never
particularly easy or clean even when handled properly. Taking apart some
equipment requires removing up to 50 screws.” “Industrial-scale shredders turn
circuit boards and hard drives into huge bits of glass, metal and plastics.
Those pieces have to be melted in a smelter to isolate the gold, silver, copper
and palladium.” One problem is “There are no smelters that do this in the U.S.,”
due to the environmental effects of the smelting process, Smith said. Therefore,
the shredding companies “send the metals by rail car all the way to northern
Quebec, where there is a smelter.” So you can donate money to these places so
that they can run the smelter, pay for the tools that they need to help recycle
e-waste, and to ship the materials to places like Quebec.
10
Another friend is asking for advice on how to improve his/her essay. List ONE
"celebration" and ONE "suggestion."
This paragraph is about how people are trying to help. People are trying to help
by guarding the remaining northern white rhinos. Scientist are even trying to
make clones with the help of the last remaining male. The other two are female.
“Rhino poaching is currently at a crisis point. By the end of 2015, the number
of African rhinos killed by poachers had increased for the sixth year in a row
with at least 1,338 rhinos killed by poachers across Africa in 2015.” resource
found on https://www.savetherhino.org/rhino_info/poaching_statistics.
[https://www.savetherhino.org/rhino_info/poaching_statistics.%C2%A0%22];
Another friend is asking for advice on how to improve his/her essay. List ONE
"celebration" and ONE "suggestion."
This paragraph is about how people are trying to help. People are trying to help
by guarding the remaining northern white rhinos. Scientist are even trying to
make clones with the help of the last remaining male. The other two are female.
“Rhino poaching is currently at a crisis point. By the end of 2015, the number
of African rhinos killed by poachers had increased for the sixth year in a row
with at least 1,338 rhinos killed by poachers across Africa in 2015.” resource
found on https://www.savetherhino.org/rhino_info/poaching_statistics.
[https://www.savetherhino.org/rhino_info/poaching_statistics.%C2%A0%22];
10
Do you think the TOPIC SENTENCE and CONCLUDING SENTENCE align with each other
and match the detail sentences in the rest of the paragraph? Yes/No ...explain
your thinking.
Another way the increase production of Global Warming is happening is from acts
that things we do. As you may already know, oxygen comes from plants for us to
breath while we breath out carbon dioxide for plants. However, because of
certain human activities, such as deforestation, which is the act of cutting
down more trees than planted, oxygen is not being replenished. Plants are being
uprooted by the activities we do daily such as clearing of land and agriculture
(overpopulation of a living thing or plant) . When we clear land we are tearing
trees and plants down for room to build buildings and homes. When they tear the
trees down they're taking away our oxygen. The levels of oxygen and carbon
dioxide should be balanced enough for both humans and plants to survive and not
cause Global Warming. “Deforestation of rainforests is a large contributor to
global warming and CO2 emissions, but planting new trees, even in your own
backyard, can help to offset this,” states in the article “Top Ways to Stop
Global Warming” article from the San Francisco Chronicle 2017. They’re trying to
say even a little action can make a big difference. Humans need to be more
thoughtful when it comes to clearing land and forests, and instead use
sustainable practices. We should consider our activities before we do them and
realize about the Greenhouse Gases.
Do you think the TOPIC SENTENCE and CONCLUDING SENTENCE align with each other
and match the detail sentences in the rest of the paragraph? Yes/No ...explain
your thinking.
Another way the increase production of Global Warming is happening is from acts
that things we do. As you may already know, oxygen comes from plants for us to
breath while we breath out carbon dioxide for plants. However, because of
certain human activities, such as deforestation, which is the act of cutting
down more trees than planted, oxygen is not being replenished. Plants are being
uprooted by the activities we do daily such as clearing of land and agriculture
(overpopulation of a living thing or plant) . When we clear land we are tearing
trees and plants down for room to build buildings and homes. When they tear the
trees down they're taking away our oxygen. The levels of oxygen and carbon
dioxide should be balanced enough for both humans and plants to survive and not
cause Global Warming. “Deforestation of rainforests is a large contributor to
global warming and CO2 emissions, but planting new trees, even in your own
backyard, can help to offset this,” states in the article “Top Ways to Stop
Global Warming” article from the San Francisco Chronicle 2017. They’re trying to
say even a little action can make a big difference. Humans need to be more
thoughtful when it comes to clearing land and forests, and instead use
sustainable practices. We should consider our activities before we do them and
realize about the Greenhouse Gases.
10
Do you think the TOPIC SENTENCE and CONCLUDING SENTENCE align with each other
and match the detail sentences in the rest of the paragraph? Yes/No ...explain
your thinking.
If the polar ice caps melt all the animals have to start to live in different
places and if they were able to be transported to a different location they
would not be used as adapted to it the new biome so most would eventually die.
Humans will affected by this rise in temperature and it will minimize the amount
the amount of the fossil fuels that we can get. Due to the massive heat change
it has become more prone for mosquitoes to spread deadly virus such as the new
deadly virus “zika”. The heat change is making the virus spread a lot faster
than most due to the high amounts of humidity caused by the greenhouse gases,. “
According to Effects of Global Warming."
Do you think the TOPIC SENTENCE and CONCLUDING SENTENCE align with each other
and match the detail sentences in the rest of the paragraph? Yes/No ...explain
your thinking.
If the polar ice caps melt all the animals have to start to live in different
places and if they were able to be transported to a different location they
would not be used as adapted to it the new biome so most would eventually die.
Humans will affected by this rise in temperature and it will minimize the amount
the amount of the fossil fuels that we can get. Due to the massive heat change
it has become more prone for mosquitoes to spread deadly virus such as the new
deadly virus “zika”. The heat change is making the virus spread a lot faster
than most due to the high amounts of humidity caused by the greenhouse gases,. “
According to Effects of Global Warming."